31 March 2005

From the Soul Mountain

Gao Xingjian is one of the most melodious authors I have read. And sensual, let me add. It's a different kind of stream of conscious narrative. It's not a back and forth in time or space. But it’s a switch between three-four projections of the self. I found this excerpt on the net, but this is not one of my favourites:

The rich, the famous, and the nothing in particular all hurry back because they are getting old. After all, who doesn't love the home of their ancestors? They don't intend to stay, so they walk around looking relaxed, talking and laughing loudly, and effusing fondness and affection for the place. When friends meet they don't just give a nod or a handshake in the meaningless ritual of city people, but rather they shout the person's name or thump him on the back. Hugging is also common, but not for women. By the cement trough where the buses are washed, two young women hold hands as they chat. The women here have lovely voices and you can't help taking a second look.

28 March 2005

Maybe. Just maybe

It’s been a long time. So many strands run through the head. Survival of the fittest, and then you see them here.

Have you ever thought that it can be so easy to lose yourself in the daily routine? I mean, you weren’t born for this mad rush between home and office, were you? Larger question: what were you born for? Still larger question: were you at all born for anything? Now I can think of a hundred corny lines, but let's just leave them alone for now.

Unless you stop for a moment and take stock, you wont even know that with each contraceptive pill you have taken for years, and will continue to take for some time, coz you just don’t have the space for your baby, with each ‘I will do it someday,’ kind of sighs, with each deadline reached in office, with each little happy thing postponed for later, you have lost the joy forever.

The dreams that you set out with as a teenager seem like some other person’s to you now. But in the corner of your heart you still own them. Gives nice stuff to think about and smile when you have the time to. Everything’s just beginning. Maybe you will still see your baby someday.