I've been reading and
listening to families', especially mothers' struggles with working
from home, kids being at home, and of course handling all the
corona-related stress as well as measures to stay safe and well
stocked. Some have used the term “homeschooling”, perhaps to
describe the way kids are currently learning now.
In this post, I first
talk about our own understanding of the word “homeschooling” and
whether this corona-induced period of homestay is a good time to
consider homeschooling. We have been homeschooling our daughters aged
8 and 5 since 2016. The older one attended a year of playschool. The
younger one's never been to school.
I share here
observations from our own experience so far with our children. Other
homeschooling families may have different takes.
The second part of my
post deals with the “benefits” of homeschooling as I see it in
these difficult times. Of course, we have reaped more from
homeschooling than we have sown and I believe we will continue to do
so. I am only sharing a few observations here that may ring a bell
with the larger, non-homeschooling audience who may read this.
Now, what does
“homeschooling” mean (to us)?
1. The term
“homeschooling” can be misleading. It's true that the home is
central to our lifestyle choice as against going to school or even
office (yes, that's another choice, but may need another post), but
homeschooling does not necessarily mean that the kids are always at
home, learning from their books. In fact, many a homeschooler spends
a significant part outdoors, be it in the garden, farm, on the
playground, or travelling. It's for this reason that other terms such
as “open learning” and “self learning” may come closer to
describe this way of life rather than the term homeschooling.
So, what does
homeschooling mean to us? Being cooped up with kids at home doesn't
equate to homeschooling. For us, homeschooling has meant that
children learn what they want to at their own pace and in their own
space. Their natural inclinations and curiosity leads them to explore
and discover. We as parents largely stand by the sidelines and give
them our help, counsel when they need it.
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| Many a homeschooler spends a good part of their time outdoors. Some even travel as part of their learning process. |
Homeschooling is a
recognition of the fact that the human learning process is continuous
and omnipresent. School is not the only place where “education”
happens.
2. Homeschooling was
one among many gradual changes we made in our lives. As we
started slowing down our pace of life and making more sustainable
choices, homeschooling fit like a glove. Hence, if our decision to
homeschool is seen in isolation as only an education approach for
kids, you may not understand it in its entirety.
3. We weren't forced
to homeschool, you shouldn't be too. We decided to homeschool
because of a deep dissatisfaction with the education system. At that
time, we did not have a very clear understanding of how schools can
systematically tamper with and destroy the human brain's capacity to
learn. Nor were we aware of how the schooling system feeds into other
exploitative systems that take the individual far away from what
could be their natural existence and thus weaken their relationship
with their self, society, and nature. But now that we know, we stand
strong and happy with our decision.
Our decision took time.
Our decision has strong moorings. But it was our own decision. It was
not forced on us because of a Covid-like situation. Most families are
now being forced into “homeschooling” and that can give you the
wrong idea. And, I can easily see why. When you are not used to
having the children around all day, it can feel stressful, especially
if you also have to work from home during the same time, which too
you may not be used to.
But homeschooling,
really, has been one of the most liberating things to have happened
to us. I am sorry that it may not feel that way to you right now.
However, now that you are a sort of a forced homeschooler, it doesn't
hurt to come over to our universe and see for yourself what
homeschooling can be and how it has helped us keep the hair on our
heads in these times. Please do note that it is a difficult time for us as well: the kids are used to engaging and fulfilling social interactions which they now have to do without. However, our choice to homeschool has definitely kept us and our children sane in these very strange times.
1. Children learn to
self-manage. Our children approach us if they seek something from
us, be it food, help with a toy, or simply our attention. While they
do need our attention at times, we don't sit with them all day. We
have never done that apart from the first couple of years when they
needed us to be constantly around. (I've had the support of my
in-laws and my parents in looking after the kids until they were
two-three years old. I still have their support, but my kids don't
need it much now.) However, when we do spend time with them, it has
to be mindful time. It can't be colouring with them with one eye on
the phone or laptop. If children have never been to school, they
simply don't need anyone to hover around them from morn to night,
monitor them, or tell them what to do at what times. They simply be.
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| Impromptu and self-made games and props are stock-in-trade of our homeschoolers. |
2. Children
understand when you explain. My children understand that I have
household duties to attend to, a day job (though now part-time), and
that I too need my own time. When we decided to homeschool our older
daughter, it was not a parent-led decision. My daughter simply didn't
want to go to preschool any more. I used to work full-time from home
then. So, one of my big initial concerns with homeschooling was how I
would get anything done with her around from morn to night. I sat her
down one day and explained my situation to her: that she no longer
had to go to school, but that didn't mean that I would be available
to sit with her all day or that she would watch TV all day. She
readily agreed. All she cared for was that school was out. It has
been the same way since then: if we need to get something done or
draw a line that the kids need to respect, we explain it to them.
I spend a certain part
of the day with the kids, usually in the evening between 4 to 6 pm on
certain days. I work two days a week, so those days are off limits
for the kids. They know that. Yes, there are times when they do get
cranky, hover around my computer when I am working, or be more
demanding than usual, but these are exceptions rather than the rule.
At such times, I pause my work, attend to whatever's bothering them,
and they usually let me go after that.
That children being
able to understand when adults explain has got nothing to do with
homeschooling, per se. It is to do with trust and respect. I need to
trust that my child will understand and I need to respect any
concerns she may have. This sort of relationship-building comes with
the territory with homeschooling. You need to build a solid, deep
relationship based on trust with your children, else homeschooling
can't work.
3. Their creativity
blooms, untampered as it is by school. My children come up with
impromptu songs, dances, even full puppet and dance shows, all on
their own. They also create games of their own with simple props.
While their days are hardly empty, neither are they crammed with
“activities”. There is stuff they do together as well as on their
own. When it's time to switch off the lights at night, I have often
heard my older daughter grumble that the only time she gets to read
is at night and that it isn't fair that the day came to an end so
quickly. Yes, you read that right.
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| Our children immerse themselves in a dozen things from morn to night, without necessarily being busy. |
4. No reliance on a
schedule, go with the flow. The kids have blocks of time roughly
assigned to certain tasks or activities. This “schedule”, if we
can call it that, is something we have collectively agreed on. For
instance, playing in the garden and bath are what they do before
lunch. Post-lunch, they have their hour of TV watching. In the
evening, we go out for a walk, cycling, playing with their friends.
But these are large blocks of time and are intentionally designed
that way, so that there is no micro-managing of their day. This
schedule keeps changing with the weather, kids' preferences for that
particular day (bathing and breakfast still have to be dealt with in
the morning), or with any external factors such as if we have
visitors.
Whether to homeschool
or not is not a decision you can come to under duress. However, it's
a good time to think about the possibilities of children being and
learning on their own, of blooming to their full potential, and how
they can grow up with the sense of the self still intact. And, what a
difference it could make to the world.
