Kids staying at home in times of corona ≠ Homeschooling

I've been reading and listening to families', especially mothers' struggles with working from home, kids being at home, and of course handling all the corona-related stress as well as measures to stay safe and well stocked. Some have used the term “homeschooling”, perhaps to describe the way kids are currently learning now.

In this post, I first talk about our own understanding of the word “homeschooling” and whether this corona-induced period of homestay is a good time to consider homeschooling. We have been homeschooling our daughters aged 8 and 5 since 2016. The older one attended a year of playschool. The younger one's never been to school.

I share here observations from our own experience so far with our children. Other homeschooling families may have different takes.

The second part of my post deals with the “benefits” of homeschooling as I see it in these difficult times. Of course, we have reaped more from homeschooling than we have sown and I believe we will continue to do so. I am only sharing a few observations here that may ring a bell with the larger, non-homeschooling audience who may read this.

Now, what does “homeschooling” mean (to us)?

1. The term “homeschooling” can be misleading. It's true that the home is central to our lifestyle choice as against going to school or even office (yes, that's another choice, but may need another post), but homeschooling does not necessarily mean that the kids are always at home, learning from their books. In fact, many a homeschooler spends a significant part outdoors, be it in the garden, farm, on the playground, or travelling. It's for this reason that other terms such as “open learning” and “self learning” may come closer to describe this way of life rather than the term homeschooling.

So, what does homeschooling mean to us? Being cooped up with kids at home doesn't equate to homeschooling. For us, homeschooling has meant that children learn what they want to at their own pace and in their own space. Their natural inclinations and curiosity leads them to explore and discover. We as parents largely stand by the sidelines and give them our help, counsel when they need it.

Many a homeschooler spends a good part of their time outdoors.
Some even travel as part of their learning process.  

Homeschooling is a recognition of the fact that the human learning process is continuous and omnipresent. School is not the only place where “education” happens.

2. Homeschooling was one among many gradual changes we made in our lives. As we started slowing down our pace of life and making more sustainable choices, homeschooling fit like a glove. Hence, if our decision to homeschool is seen in isolation as only an education approach for kids, you may not understand it in its entirety.

3. We weren't forced to homeschool, you shouldn't be too. We decided to homeschool because of a deep dissatisfaction with the education system. At that time, we did not have a very clear understanding of how schools can systematically tamper with and destroy the human brain's capacity to learn. Nor were we aware of how the schooling system feeds into other exploitative systems that take the individual far away from what could be their natural existence and thus weaken their relationship with their self, society, and nature. But now that we know, we stand strong and happy with our decision.

Our decision took time. Our decision has strong moorings. But it was our own decision. It was not forced on us because of a Covid-like situation. Most families are now being forced into “homeschooling” and that can give you the wrong idea. And, I can easily see why. When you are not used to having the children around all day, it can feel stressful, especially if you also have to work from home during the same time, which too you may not be used to.

But homeschooling, really, has been one of the most liberating things to have happened to us. I am sorry that it may not feel that way to you right now. However, now that you are a sort of a forced homeschooler, it doesn't hurt to come over to our universe and see for yourself what homeschooling can be and how it has helped us keep the hair on our heads in these times. Please do note that it is a difficult time for us as well: the kids are used to engaging and fulfilling social interactions which they now have to do without. However, our choice to homeschool has definitely kept us and our children sane in these very strange times.

1. Children learn to self-manage. Our children approach us if they seek something from us, be it food, help with a toy, or simply our attention. While they do need our attention at times, we don't sit with them all day. We have never done that apart from the first couple of years when they needed us to be constantly around. (I've had the support of my in-laws and my parents in looking after the kids until they were two-three years old. I still have their support, but my kids don't need it much now.) However, when we do spend time with them, it has to be mindful time. It can't be colouring with them with one eye on the phone or laptop. If children have never been to school, they simply don't need anyone to hover around them from morn to night, monitor them, or tell them what to do at what times. They simply be.

Impromptu and self-made games and props are
stock-in-trade of our homeschoolers. 

2. Children understand when you explain. My children understand that I have household duties to attend to, a day job (though now part-time), and that I too need my own time. When we decided to homeschool our older daughter, it was not a parent-led decision. My daughter simply didn't want to go to preschool any more. I used to work full-time from home then. So, one of my big initial concerns with homeschooling was how I would get anything done with her around from morn to night. I sat her down one day and explained my situation to her: that she no longer had to go to school, but that didn't mean that I would be available to sit with her all day or that she would watch TV all day. She readily agreed. All she cared for was that school was out. It has been the same way since then: if we need to get something done or draw a line that the kids need to respect, we explain it to them.

I spend a certain part of the day with the kids, usually in the evening between 4 to 6 pm on certain days. I work two days a week, so those days are off limits for the kids. They know that. Yes, there are times when they do get cranky, hover around my computer when I am working, or be more demanding than usual, but these are exceptions rather than the rule. At such times, I pause my work, attend to whatever's bothering them, and they usually let me go after that.

That children being able to understand when adults explain has got nothing to do with homeschooling, per se. It is to do with trust and respect. I need to trust that my child will understand and I need to respect any concerns she may have. This sort of relationship-building comes with the territory with homeschooling. You need to build a solid, deep relationship based on trust with your children, else homeschooling can't work.

3. Their creativity blooms, untampered as it is by school. My children come up with impromptu songs, dances, even full puppet and dance shows, all on their own. They also create games of their own with simple props. While their days are hardly empty, neither are they crammed with “activities”. There is stuff they do together as well as on their own. When it's time to switch off the lights at night, I have often heard my older daughter grumble that the only time she gets to read is at night and that it isn't fair that the day came to an end so quickly. Yes, you read that right.

Our children immerse themselves in a dozen things from morn to night,
without necessarily being busy. 

4. No reliance on a schedule, go with the flow. The kids have blocks of time roughly assigned to certain tasks or activities. This “schedule”, if we can call it that, is something we have collectively agreed on. For instance, playing in the garden and bath are what they do before lunch. Post-lunch, they have their hour of TV watching. In the evening, we go out for a walk, cycling, playing with their friends. But these are large blocks of time and are intentionally designed that way, so that there is no micro-managing of their day. This schedule keeps changing with the weather, kids' preferences for that particular day (bathing and breakfast still have to be dealt with in the morning), or with any external factors such as if we have visitors.

Whether to homeschool or not is not a decision you can come to under duress. However, it's a good time to think about the possibilities of children being and learning on their own, of blooming to their full potential, and how they can grow up with the sense of the self still intact. And, what a difference it could make to the world.