I was told recently that my blog lacked consistency. Yeah, perhaps true. But what should my blog be 'consistent' with? What should it 'focus' on? And why? Observe your chain of thoughts. Is there anything consistent about them?
There is nothing consistent within. Is that perhaps why we seek it outside?
This post is a think-aloud one. It perhaps makes as much or as little sense to you as it does to me. After writing this, I am filled with even more questions than what I began with. So, if you still wanna read, am delighted.
To come back to what I was saying, this comment (from a well-meaning fellow blogger) set me thinking about the search for consistency. Why do we seek a pattern, a code perhaps to decipher each other, or a situation? I have dealt with something similar before in my blog. The search for routine, a sameness, despite all the outerward clamour for change and 'something different'.
I think this search for consistency is mostly powered by our sense of well-being. We need to know, understand, and assess the situation we are in or the person we are dealing with to give the 'right' responses, to give us a sense of being in control, to not be 'surprised'.
Once we know, understand, and assess the situation/person, we dig in to our chest of past experiences for ready responses and if there isn't any, perhaps fashion a new one.
It's almost a need to 'orientalise', I guess. It's a basic, primal need. And I can't say I havent felt it ever. I used to need categories to put people/situations in and de-alienate them. I wanted coherence, perhaps I still do unconsciously. But consciously, at least, (I know, I know, I am making huge assumptions when I say 'consciously' and unconsciously') I have been trying to un-learn this need for quite some time now. Or, let's say, I'd like to believe that I'm un-learning it. The little life I have seen tells me that it's quite beautiful to not be in control, to leave some dimensions unknown, and also that there's much within to know, understand, and analyse, much inside that I need to familiarise myself with. Immense possibilities within...
Here's why I started this blog. It still holds true. I see variety in life and I love to be 'surprised' (or rather I realise you dont have a choice but to be surprised). I am many persons, so is my blog.
This definitely is not the end of this post. But I must thank him for some much-needed honesty :)